Happy Birthday, US of A

freedom tower

While we at C.O.P. would like to say have a fun and safe July 4th, we know you’ll most likely be draining kegs, chowing down, and blowing things up. So instead, we say,

Throw your car keys into the woods, remember how short the fuses are, and don’t look down the mortar tube to see if the shell is lit (because it is).

While that should prevent the majority of bodily harm, you can benefit from our collective wisdom to avoid extreme embarrassment and have an enjoyable Independence Day celebration:

  • You might think hanging your bare ass out of a moving vehicle is a good idea…until they catch up to you at the stop light (right, Farnham?).

Almost getting away with it

  • Drunk dialing your congressman is exactly as much fun as you think it will be.
  • drunk-dial-congress-phone-field-625x625

  • Nakedness is generally frowned upon, but will be tolerated in direct proportion to your hotness.

Bateman

  • Don’t barf at a guest’s house. Not ever.

(photo deleted to protect the horribly, horribly guilty)

  • Tub sleeping will result in a photo that reaches your boss. It’s a kind of magic.

Classy, Farnham. Real classy.

  • PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY. Unless you’re expecting an emergency call, you should probably just turn it off. You know what we’re talking about.

Burninator

  • Lastly, never pass out where slow moving wild things can take their time with you.

 
python-eats-drunk-man-india-story-has-turned-out-be-hoax-twitter-mvnair212
 

Also, a quick reminder: today is the last day to get your free Kindle copy of Angry Ghosts!
(Thank you, Deutschland, for making us #1 in Englischsprachige SF ABENTEUER!)

HAPPY 4th FROM ALL OF US AT CADRE ONE PUBLISHING!

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